Eclectic thoughts
I'm going away for a while, by this I mean I won't be on discord or social media for at least two months. This is all I wanted to really say, the rest of this page will be dedicated to other topics.
I've recently been reminded of the extent to which I am currently being financially drained, it's not much but I am losing just over £400 a month, I agreed to this last year and it's not like I'm going to become homeless or anything but seeing this expressed in the monthly bank statement always puts me in a bad mood. I don't like having debt of any kind, I also have student debts but they don't really exist, I've played my part in the university scheme and got what I needed, in return the government can pretend like the public is getting educated but anyway when I talk about debt I mean something more personal, I feel indebted to a lot of people many of which I will never be able to pay back because they have either died, committed suicide or because what they given me was so great it can never be paid back, I think everyone can say something similar to this, minus the suicide, for this reason it makes a perverse sense that the financial dept of nations has gotten so large. What have I really done in my life to carry my civilisation? My honest answer to this question is nothing, like so many I do not deserve what I have inherited, my only defence is that I am sort of young by modern standards.
In one sense or another I have always recognised myself as an aberration, without modern technology I would have died from suffocation shortly after birth, I am lucky to have survived with only minor brain damage (lol) as I'm sure many fellow autists will relate. Only very recently it has been the case that I understand what it is I want to do in this world, at first it was to create beauty outside of myself but after some time spent drilling down into things, I want to figure out what it means to have a good internal orientation and then to achieve this within myself, beauty coming later. It's not healthy to let one's birth condition linger in the mind, I remember having a kind of nervous breakdown when I found out all the relevant information at 16, the life of relative social isolation and stunted physical and mental development suddenly made a perfect and terrifying sense, the realisation that so much of my life had been dictated by a single mistake (a mistake that I don't feel the right to share), a realisation that in hindsight probably purged a lot of my effeminacy and leftism.
I think BAP is correct when he says homosexuals could have once been revolutionaries but instead have become the system's most staunch supporters, like many guys my age and younger may have likely experienced, women tend to take primacy during childhood. Actually, I can't be bothered to explain all this, just know that the real faggots are the guys who claim BAP fans are faggots.
I've developed a severe cynicism over the years, what I often say to myself is that 'things are always way worse than you think' it's not exactly the most elegant of phrases but it's just for myself so it's outwards face doesn't really matter. I've found that when I apply this, the results usually come back positive, you can usually get many positive results from talking to normies. I don't like the word normie, I think its usage encourages a bad outlook, Internet spergaloids and dweebs are already narcissistic enough. What was I saying? Yes, I don't get angry in conversation, I usually get frustrated after the fact over some mistake I made or because I've had a disagreement with the other person, I think I get the most upset when I talk to older people. Gen X is hopeless, they will never listen to you if you are younger than them let alone remember what you said in the last conversation, for this reason receiving guidance from them is like going back to primary school, you will listen to the enlightened elder and discussion is tolerated in so far that it is framed as a demented question and answer session; the average middle-class Gen X parent will always test positive. Generational disputes are obviously destructive, I'm sure that when I've failed my children, they will bitch about me online too, if spaces like these still exist.
Copyright should exist but is should only last for four years after the publication of a work. I think this is fair, I understand the arguments for its complete abolition but I also think that creators benefit from being somewhat protected from industry sharks, I want the abolitionists to think about what would happen should Copyright be abolished, then how quickly advertising agencies would suddenly gain total market dominance or something approaching market dominance, lone creatives or creatives who own or are a part of small businesses will rapidly die out after swarms of corporate bug-men mindlessly and shamelessly plagiarise their work to sell on at more competitive rates. I think the abolitionists have it backwards in some respect, companies like Disney can hold a lot of IPs because of copyright law but it is also these same laws that prevent them from owning everything.
AI is a depressing subject more than anything else. Serious philosophy doesn't exist in IT, everything is a computation, nothing would excite the tech enthusiast more than if this was true. Speak to a computer nerd about the Turing test and you will see how blinkered they really are. AI art is a humiliation ritual, but not to artists, many artists have been feeling threatened by this new technology, which is the correct response, I've spent about five years learning to code in various languages and I felt the same way once I saw an AI write some boilerplate code in a matter of seconds. Why do I say humiliation ritual? AI art is in essence the boilerplate code of all art, its acceptance by the masses is to be expected, I would not be surprised if some dark force in this world, seeking to further devalue human life, is revelling in their victory.
Take care everyone